''Faktai'' apie Chuck'ą Norris'ą

Keletas juokingų ''faktų'' apie Chuck'ą. Anglų kalba būtina.

1. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

2. Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

3. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

4. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!".

5. Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

6. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

7. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

8. Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

9. CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

10. A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

11. Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

12. Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

13. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

14. Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.

15. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

16. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris".

17. If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

18. Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

19. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

20. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

21. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

22. Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

23. Chuck Norris is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

24. Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.

25. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

26. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

27. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

28. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.